Weird Recipe: Ants on a Bog

November 19, 2017

I’m not a professional chef or anything, but when I’m in the mood to cook, I go to Serious Eats for recipes.

(That sounded facetious, so allow me to elucidate my thoughts: once the basics of cooking are mastered [e.g. dicing onions, mincing garlic, handling meat safely, balancing taste with lemons, limes, salt, pepper, et cetera] it’s quite easy to attempt most recipes; there tends to be significant overlap among them. With practice, improvisation becomes more natural, and the anxiety of adhering to stringent instructions dissipates–unless baking is involved, of course.)

Americans tend to be familiar with ants on a log: that is, peanut butter spread over celery stalks, topped with raisins.

The bog recipe uses, for ants, plump pickled grapes instead of dried grapes. Entomologists will be disappointed to learn that I can neither explain the evolution of these insects nor identify their species, but the result is an intense admixture of competing flavors. Celery finally gets its due.

The idea of a bog, in my mind, evokes gloom, England, melancholy, and yes, weirdness, much like a Gothic novel. Late in the year, when the wind soughs among denuded elm branches, what festive soul can resist quilted blankets, nourishing soups, and Melmoth the Wanderer?

Would that I could prepare this meal for everyone, and share it by my fireplace!

Just in time for Thanksgiving, the Ants on a Bog recipe can be found at Serious Eats, curated by one talented Sohla El-Waylly.

No, I am not an affiliate, and I do not receive compensation from Serious Eats. I just had to share by using any old creaky platform whatever.

Note: I used plain yogurt instead of heavy cream. If you’re lactose intolerant, a vegan, or allergic to peanuts, then run away from the bog.

I finished the first draft of my (fourth) novel, provisionally entitled Whose Way Was Worn.

It’s about a young woman who becomes afflicted with an inexplicable malady which acts as a catalyst for paranoia, brainwashing, and self-destruction. When the progenitor of her mysterious affliction presents her with the unconscionable conditions she must meet in order to obtain the cure, she automatically agrees–only to discover that the path to recovery may not be worth the pain she must inflict upon herself and others.

That’s my ad libbed pitch. My trusted first reader will comb through the manuscript and tell me how many ticks he finds. You know: those flagrant errors invisible to the writer, but which drain power from the story nonetheless.

After that? Who knows. I can try for one of the big publishers, or I can write the next book and shelve this one for later. There is no set path in this industry anymore, and every author has a different publication journey.

Why Blogging?

August 6, 2017

It would be impertinent of me to start this web log without stating its purpose. As of this writing, technophiles have declared the blog dead. One need only examine a few sobering statistics to confirm this. Contrariwise, many individuals are still creating blogs for fun and profit. For those poor chaps who don’t seek profit, […]

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First Post

April 12, 2017

I just fixed some of the code here so now the site runs more smoothly than before. It was a marathon session, for sure; all that’s left is to migrate to a dedicated host and then provide quality content. Stay tuned.

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